the selfishness of love.

this whole relationship thing, i don't understand it, the way some people handle it.

but before i get too into this, let me throw an obvious disclaimer up: this is in no way about my own relationship with my girlfriend. she's an absolutely amazing individual, and i often envy her integrity, selfishlessness, and just all around being awesomeness. <3

anyways,

so, here is this wonderful teenage couple, apparently "in love" and all sort of words like that. they've been going steady for about 5 or 6 months, and from what i can see, they seem to really have it for each other. i mean, the whole, a paragraph about you on myspace, posting 4621 bulletins about your love, and etc, you go, "dang, they really like each other."
then out of no where, they break up, and you go, "dang man, that sucks. i'm kind of bummed for them. they must be taking it hard."
BUT APPARENTLY NOT! because a few WEEKS later they are with someone else, saying all the same things that they were about their just last boyfriend/girlfriend. there's a brand new paragraph, all the new pictures with their oh sweet love, that has made them happier than anyone else before, all of this within a few days of the new relationship.

and you just kind of go,
that's absolutely ridiculous.

because i swear, if these people actually claim to have been "in love" with these people, it's a load of bull. because there is NO WAY you can have a serious relationship and actually say things i love you and come anywhere remotely close to meaning it, and then just get over it like it was nothing. the only alternative, is that you're just rebounding, which is just as wrong. that's just toying with peoples emotions and that's whack.

the sad thing is, you see this most in people that are way older than you would expect! you'd think they were more mature than that.

i dated a girl for 7 months, and that was my first serious relationship. i was a total goob for this girl, and when we broke up it devastated me. it's all good in the hood now, but i'm AMAZED that i was able to begin a serious relationship with taci only 9 months after the other break up. honestly, i really am. because i thought it would have taken me far longer to be ok with it.
and at first it was really hard, you can ask taci. we definitely had some rough bumps the first few months because of my previous relationship.

so for someone to just get over this person that they were going to love forever, and marry, and recieve happiness from them like never before,
it's just not possible to mean it. that's not genuine romantic love. heck, i wouldn't even call it a brotherly/best friend/friend sort of love.
it's a selfish love. it's for the other person to stand there and to hold hands with and say "oh yeah! i have a boyfriend!" so you can look better on myspace and sleep better at night feeling loved.
that's honestly one of the most selfish things i've heard of. and i see it so much, and it's just so sad. because people abuse this unique companionship that God intended for something way different.
do you think God HONESTLY gave eve to adam, and adam to eve, so that they can feel loved? no. not even close. it's so that they could give love.

and when you just take and take and take this artificial space holder for your empty spot in your life, please, know it's just so selfish that i'm surprised you can still breathe.

-alex.