Goodbye blogger.
Love you.
alexesposito.tumblr.com
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Been thinking lately.
(In this post I have put a lot of things in quotations. Each time I do this, it represents some false meaning behind a word which society has put there, that I don't agree with.)
I have ultimately failed as an artist, as one who "creates." At least, to my standard.
It's hard to find artists these days, real ones. Ones who are trying to change things, to do something REALLY original. Something that hasn't been done before. It's even harder to find the ones who are trying to do it on their own.
I have always been a firm believer in the youth. I am youth myself, I know this. But when folks that are younger that want to do something, want to create something, want to change something, want to make a difference, feel that they can't because they are not "old enough," or "mature enough" or whatever, I think that's a load of crap. I don't believe in this thing called "age difference." And I thank the Good Lord everyday for putting me in a ministry that taught me this, and a place where I can show this. I spend a lot of time with Jr. Highers every week, and they are no different than myself. I also think that people who think they can't do something until they are properly educated on the subject, as far as "art" goes, is also ridiculous.
But unfortunately, I have recently fallen into these beliefs. That I'm not old enough, that I haven't been taught properly yet. That I should wait a little while. That I should wait until I'm out of high school.
I spend a lot of time thinking about human potential. And how much of it everyone has. And that with the right motivation, or should I say, Motivator (please, note the capitalization), anyone can do anything.
For example, look at the woman who spends her time in front of a camera, to bring men at home "pleasure." Think of if she knew her True Father, if she spent time with Him. Think of what she could accomplish, of who she could impact. Of what her REAL talents are, of the things that she goes home to do and love and TRULY express herself. Now think of what every woman involved in that industry could do if she knew her True Father.
Every person has an amazing amount of potential, that I don't think any of us really exercise to it's breaking point. I think Paul did. He took a lot. But all of us could take that much. I really don't believe that anyone does anymore.
And I know that I don't either anymore. I don't think in the last two years or so I've really created anything. I think I've basically duplicated things, and disguised them very well to make it seem like I created them. Mostly I speak of music. I am not trying my hardest in my music, I am not trying to do something that hasn't been done. I'm just doing enough to get it out. To make it audible.
This is because of this feeling of "discouragement." Which all in all, I shouldn't LET this emotion exist. But I am only human. I let things like, lack of "support," lack of "fans," lack of "merchandise sold," lack of "daily plays," lack of any "feedback" at all (I would take any, positive or negative, to at least know that there is someone listening), I let all of these things and more collect like dust on my creativity over the last two years. The result of this is not trying something new, but trying something only to please, trying something that others have already enjoyed.
It used to be that I did things for my own sake. I did it because I liked it. Whether you or anyone liked it or not was really not relative. Because if I liked it, and if I was happy with it, and I felt that I did my best in it, it was good. And that's all it needed to be. But now, things aren't "catchy enough" and etc.
The ultimate, I'll call this a personal sin (because I am falling beneath my own standard that I have set, which we all do and will continue to do unless we seek first the One who is above all standards), is that I've let the many different endeavors of self-expression that I have indulged myself in snuff out each other in a popularity contest of my attention and effort. I have music, I have photography, I have MANA, and now I've recently taken up writing (thank you Kaytie). Between these attempts to multi-task, and high school, and ministry, family, friends, deciding college, trying to make money in some desperate way or another, and etc, I have failed to give anything my true, full attention. Which I am extremely disappointed with myself in.
The Good Lord put these desires in my heart to do all of these things. From school to art to feeling the way I do about my friends and wanting to give them every second of my life, God GAVE ME these desires. I know He did. So who says I need to pick and choose amongst them? As long as I seek Him first in each and every aspect of my life, I will find the time to do every single thing to it's fullest.
And that's my problem. I don't put Him first in it. Of course, after realizing this, it is no longer a current issue, but a part of my past where I will one day speak of and think back on and laugh at.
All in all, I don't believe I have to wait to be old enough to change anything. Or to be properly educated. Or to be affirmed. No one does.
So, I will write and record and play the music I want to play, that I feel is my best, that I feel is true self-expression. With or without choruses. And I will not do it for you, or for anyone. I will do it for Him, and for me. For the sake of creating.
I have ultimately failed as an artist, as one who "creates." At least, to my standard.
It's hard to find artists these days, real ones. Ones who are trying to change things, to do something REALLY original. Something that hasn't been done before. It's even harder to find the ones who are trying to do it on their own.
I have always been a firm believer in the youth. I am youth myself, I know this. But when folks that are younger that want to do something, want to create something, want to change something, want to make a difference, feel that they can't because they are not "old enough," or "mature enough" or whatever, I think that's a load of crap. I don't believe in this thing called "age difference." And I thank the Good Lord everyday for putting me in a ministry that taught me this, and a place where I can show this. I spend a lot of time with Jr. Highers every week, and they are no different than myself. I also think that people who think they can't do something until they are properly educated on the subject, as far as "art" goes, is also ridiculous.
But unfortunately, I have recently fallen into these beliefs. That I'm not old enough, that I haven't been taught properly yet. That I should wait a little while. That I should wait until I'm out of high school.
I spend a lot of time thinking about human potential. And how much of it everyone has. And that with the right motivation, or should I say, Motivator (please, note the capitalization), anyone can do anything.
For example, look at the woman who spends her time in front of a camera, to bring men at home "pleasure." Think of if she knew her True Father, if she spent time with Him. Think of what she could accomplish, of who she could impact. Of what her REAL talents are, of the things that she goes home to do and love and TRULY express herself. Now think of what every woman involved in that industry could do if she knew her True Father.
Every person has an amazing amount of potential, that I don't think any of us really exercise to it's breaking point. I think Paul did. He took a lot. But all of us could take that much. I really don't believe that anyone does anymore.
And I know that I don't either anymore. I don't think in the last two years or so I've really created anything. I think I've basically duplicated things, and disguised them very well to make it seem like I created them. Mostly I speak of music. I am not trying my hardest in my music, I am not trying to do something that hasn't been done. I'm just doing enough to get it out. To make it audible.
This is because of this feeling of "discouragement." Which all in all, I shouldn't LET this emotion exist. But I am only human. I let things like, lack of "support," lack of "fans," lack of "merchandise sold," lack of "daily plays," lack of any "feedback" at all (I would take any, positive or negative, to at least know that there is someone listening), I let all of these things and more collect like dust on my creativity over the last two years. The result of this is not trying something new, but trying something only to please, trying something that others have already enjoyed.
It used to be that I did things for my own sake. I did it because I liked it. Whether you or anyone liked it or not was really not relative. Because if I liked it, and if I was happy with it, and I felt that I did my best in it, it was good. And that's all it needed to be. But now, things aren't "catchy enough" and etc.
The ultimate, I'll call this a personal sin (because I am falling beneath my own standard that I have set, which we all do and will continue to do unless we seek first the One who is above all standards), is that I've let the many different endeavors of self-expression that I have indulged myself in snuff out each other in a popularity contest of my attention and effort. I have music, I have photography, I have MANA, and now I've recently taken up writing (thank you Kaytie). Between these attempts to multi-task, and high school, and ministry, family, friends, deciding college, trying to make money in some desperate way or another, and etc, I have failed to give anything my true, full attention. Which I am extremely disappointed with myself in.
The Good Lord put these desires in my heart to do all of these things. From school to art to feeling the way I do about my friends and wanting to give them every second of my life, God GAVE ME these desires. I know He did. So who says I need to pick and choose amongst them? As long as I seek Him first in each and every aspect of my life, I will find the time to do every single thing to it's fullest.
And that's my problem. I don't put Him first in it. Of course, after realizing this, it is no longer a current issue, but a part of my past where I will one day speak of and think back on and laugh at.
All in all, I don't believe I have to wait to be old enough to change anything. Or to be properly educated. Or to be affirmed. No one does.
So, I will write and record and play the music I want to play, that I feel is my best, that I feel is true self-expression. With or without choruses. And I will not do it for you, or for anyone. I will do it for Him, and for me. For the sake of creating.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
The Epidemic, The Unwretched Epidemic!
Glorious Detransmogrification: HE is causing an epidemic! Sanctifying one hideous monstrosity at a time!
All you vampires who fear the Light, flee to your coffins, and live for yourself therein!
All you lycanthropic beings, "you must repent, you Cursed Wretch!" If you dislike it, dislike it, then fetch your flesh!
We, His unvamps, speak His Truth:
"All we little unvamps,
once were sluts, were whores, were tramps,
but now we are the bride of Jesus Christ!"
All you vampires who fear the Light, flee to your coffins, and live for yourself therein!
All you lycanthropic beings, "you must repent, you Cursed Wretch!" If you dislike it, dislike it, then fetch your flesh!
We, His unvamps, speak His Truth:
"All we little unvamps,
once were sluts, were whores, were tramps,
but now we are the bride of Jesus Christ!"
Friday, July 3, 2009
Equal Rights for Werewolves.
It's been quite a while since I've posted on here. I'm going to change that.
A lot has been going on for me life has been in between seasons. But I think things are settling down a bit now. If you want to know what's been going on with me, just go ahead and ask. I'll probably post about personal life later.
BUT! Right now, I have something very specific I want to talk about.
Once upon a time, a very influential twelve year old boy was surfing around the internet, looking for more punk rock bands, because he listened to only two (7-10 Split and Wrongfully Akuzed) and he wanted more. He needed more. Like a vampire needs blood.
He came across a website called ChristianPunks, which did reviews of bands that were of the genre and belief that he was looking for. But, it was also a web forum. He became very involved on the forum, and became cyberfriends with many of the people on the site.
Many of these folks sent him very good music, including bands like Headnoise, Officer Negative, and The Havoc. Only a few songs, no full albums. But this young boy fell in deep deep love with those songs, and listened to them nonstop for months and months on end before finding more music.
The one band he loved the most, he only had three songs by. They were an odd, quirky band from Indiana. They sang of American Werewolves, Humanoids, and Deploying All Monsters. This band was called Blaster the Rocket Man, formerly known as Blaster the Rocket Boy.
All of those songs influenced the boy and they are what brought him to love much more music that he loves today. But especially Blaster the Rocket Man.
Now, hop in your Delorean, make sure your flux capacitor is... fluxing, and we'll go forward 5 years.
The boy has grown up quite a bit now. His musical tastes are vast. But punk rock has always had a very, very special place in his heart. As well as those three songs by that band.
One day, the boy's library of 6000+ songs crashed. When he finally rebuilt it to it's proper state, he came across those three songs, listened to them, and remembered how much he loved them. He remembered how badly he wanted more by that band, and searched and searched over those five years, and never found anything.
But now he was bound and determined. And lo and behold, it happened. He found a physical, out of print, still shrink wrapped copy of what has been called the greatest punk rock album of the last 10 - 15 years. The Monster Who Ate Jesus was on a little place called amazon, and he bought that album right away.
He also found a re-released compiling of many of their older songs on an album called The Anatomy of a Monster, via iTunes, and he bought that right away as well.
Now it is present day, and for the last week, that boy, myself, has not listened to anything else because Blaster's music is so glorious. They're frontman and lyrical writer, formerly known as Otto Bot, now known as Otto NoBot, also known as Daniel Petersen, has this idea of taking monsters like werewolves, vampires, and Frankenstien's monster, as well as odd space stories and just quirky stuff, and tying them together with God, and redemption, and Jesus, and just Christianity.
As cheesy as it may sound, it's REALLY amazing. It works so well.
My brain has been in total sponge mode, and just soaking in absolutely everything about this band. And listening to them has really gotten me interested in all of these monsters. I really want to watch all of the old Universal monster films now. It's just so cool.
The one monster I've always liked is the werewolf. I think that may be because the first Blaster song I heard was American Werewolf, and it's probably still my very favorite.
But they have this song called I Like Lycanthropy. I think the way that Blaster ties werewolves to Christianity is absolutely amazing and true, and I can definitely identify with it. That's another reason why I like werewolves. And if I had to be a monster, I would be a werewolf. But really, I already am. (Go look up those lyrics to understand.)
On a less serious note, they have a lyric that goes,
"The wolfman is back!
Don't call it a curse.
Sticker on my car
Read it and weep
for the ones you love.
Says, 'Equal Rights for Werewolves'!"
I need this sticker. and I will find it. And if I can't find it, then I will have it made.
Thank you.
A lot has been going on for me life has been in between seasons. But I think things are settling down a bit now. If you want to know what's been going on with me, just go ahead and ask. I'll probably post about personal life later.
BUT! Right now, I have something very specific I want to talk about.
Once upon a time, a very influential twelve year old boy was surfing around the internet, looking for more punk rock bands, because he listened to only two (7-10 Split and Wrongfully Akuzed) and he wanted more. He needed more. Like a vampire needs blood.
He came across a website called ChristianPunks, which did reviews of bands that were of the genre and belief that he was looking for. But, it was also a web forum. He became very involved on the forum, and became cyberfriends with many of the people on the site.
Many of these folks sent him very good music, including bands like Headnoise, Officer Negative, and The Havoc. Only a few songs, no full albums. But this young boy fell in deep deep love with those songs, and listened to them nonstop for months and months on end before finding more music.
The one band he loved the most, he only had three songs by. They were an odd, quirky band from Indiana. They sang of American Werewolves, Humanoids, and Deploying All Monsters. This band was called Blaster the Rocket Man, formerly known as Blaster the Rocket Boy.
All of those songs influenced the boy and they are what brought him to love much more music that he loves today. But especially Blaster the Rocket Man.
Now, hop in your Delorean, make sure your flux capacitor is... fluxing, and we'll go forward 5 years.
The boy has grown up quite a bit now. His musical tastes are vast. But punk rock has always had a very, very special place in his heart. As well as those three songs by that band.
One day, the boy's library of 6000+ songs crashed. When he finally rebuilt it to it's proper state, he came across those three songs, listened to them, and remembered how much he loved them. He remembered how badly he wanted more by that band, and searched and searched over those five years, and never found anything.
But now he was bound and determined. And lo and behold, it happened. He found a physical, out of print, still shrink wrapped copy of what has been called the greatest punk rock album of the last 10 - 15 years. The Monster Who Ate Jesus was on a little place called amazon, and he bought that album right away.
He also found a re-released compiling of many of their older songs on an album called The Anatomy of a Monster, via iTunes, and he bought that right away as well.
Now it is present day, and for the last week, that boy, myself, has not listened to anything else because Blaster's music is so glorious. They're frontman and lyrical writer, formerly known as Otto Bot, now known as Otto NoBot, also known as Daniel Petersen, has this idea of taking monsters like werewolves, vampires, and Frankenstien's monster, as well as odd space stories and just quirky stuff, and tying them together with God, and redemption, and Jesus, and just Christianity.
As cheesy as it may sound, it's REALLY amazing. It works so well.
My brain has been in total sponge mode, and just soaking in absolutely everything about this band. And listening to them has really gotten me interested in all of these monsters. I really want to watch all of the old Universal monster films now. It's just so cool.
The one monster I've always liked is the werewolf. I think that may be because the first Blaster song I heard was American Werewolf, and it's probably still my very favorite.
But they have this song called I Like Lycanthropy. I think the way that Blaster ties werewolves to Christianity is absolutely amazing and true, and I can definitely identify with it. That's another reason why I like werewolves. And if I had to be a monster, I would be a werewolf. But really, I already am. (Go look up those lyrics to understand.)
On a less serious note, they have a lyric that goes,
"The wolfman is back!
Don't call it a curse.
Sticker on my car
Read it and weep
for the ones you love.
Says, 'Equal Rights for Werewolves'!"
I need this sticker. and I will find it. And if I can't find it, then I will have it made.
Thank you.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
