anti-inspiration.

"it's about time though, ya know? i've been f***in up like a 20 year old for the past 4 years of my life. i'm definitely not a kid mentally, so why act like one?"

if anyone knew anything about the person that said that, then they would be just as amazed and proud as i am. and it's probably the most amazing example of the potential in each person that we just let go to waste.

but with that, comes my wondering about myself. and if she can get it together, and come out of something as low as that, and be high up there with life, then why can't i come even close?
i've been riding this repeatative flatline for the past 4 years of my life, nothing changes. i have a few low dips, but no high ones.

so where is my potential that i have let waste? or is this all i have?
i'm not even going to lie, my money is on the latter.

i mean, all i do is just sit my butt on the computer all the day long and post stupid blogs. i'm going to barely pass school this year, if at all. and everyone is out doing amazing things: theatre, tennis, worship for church, making their way as a band, acing school, painting (despite a broken wrist), driving, working, buying their cars, being independent...

and me?
well, i suck as a boyfriend, friend, and bandmate. i can answer about any question you can think of about myspace, and i'm an expert at procrastination.

self esteem: -20pts.